Work, kids, cookin’

It’s been a long couple of days. Not good or bad. The sinus infection is starting to clear up now, although the cough is lingering. Dr. said it’d take about ten day to feel normal.

Anyways, Adam and all the kids are at home right now, and I’m at work. I haven’t been able to write much lately with all these boys, and work, but I’ve been doing a lot of work inside my head. It’ll just have to materialize asap.

After a long day of work, tonight I will make the dough for the rolls, and a pumpkin pie from scratch, and if I’m really motivated maybe some cookies. We’re hosting Adams moms side of the family for Thanksgiving. I’m sure I’ll be tired, but in my head I’ll be back in time, like in the Little House books, when the women and girls are busy preparing a huge feast, and chasing lil’ Almanzo out of the kitchen. That’s what will get me through the next 24 hours probably.

Hope you guys are having a nice Thanksgiving.



Week #2

Week two of being sick. I went to the dr. on Sat. morning, spur of the moment because I had a client later that day, and I couldn’t bare the thought of feeling like this, with no end in sight, and working.

It hasn’t helped much though. I don’t go to the doc. very often, I put more faith in my body healing itself, so you know I’m feeling pretty crappy. Well it’s a sinus infection, and ear infections, along with what ever that virus is that I had at the beginning. They called in three prescriptions to my pharmacy, but when I get to the pharmacy they only have one, and happen to be out of it. The antibiotics, of course, the one thing I was thinking would help the most.

They said it’d be there on Monday (today). So, I had also dropped off a prescription for Lil Fellas ADHD meds, which they were also out of until today. Well, I went up there once, still not in. The school has called to ask what up with Lil Fella because he’s acting wild and crazy (to be expected) and I explained it all to them.

I just feel like I’m in a phase of “nothings going right” and I don’t know how to correct it. There’s a lot more I’d like to get off my chest, but not here, not now. I just need some good news.



Collections; chances are you have one (or many) but have you ever stopped to wonder what they say about you? I have. I wonder what they mean, why do we do it? Some people collect art, dolls, pottery, cans, the list goes on.

Sometimes I’ll see a collection and be completely mesmerized by it, other times I’ll be completely overwhelmed. (That’s how I feel when I see a collection of porcelain dolls)


Here is just a snap shot of something in my bedroom. You can see here an old mirror from 18something. It was a yard sale find, $10, I was in 12th grade. I wanted to mix in some vintage stuff while decorating my bedroom. The wood box it all sits on, made from scrap wood I collect. The stones, some are from my kids, they find them and believe them to be special, and give them to me, the small gems I’ve bought here and there. I don’t know anything about rocks and minerals, but I am prone to collect them. If you look closely there are also old books, I collect them, and I think I always have. I do read them, they’re not for looks, although I think they look cool.


more of my books, this is an older picture of the same spot in my bedroom.


this was taken in my old house before I moved. The “library” was always a disaster, but I loved that little room.

I think my books represent the way I feel about time and history. I want to know it all, I want to hold onto it, I don’t want it to be lost. Each one was written by someone who lived a life before me, in a different time. Each one belonged to somebody, most of them have that persons name written in the most beautiful cursive handwriting. Some of them I read while growing up, and so they have become like a part of me, over all these years, I have probably only gotten rid of a few books.

So, what is for you? What do have laying around your house? What does it say about you?


I have had… ya know one of “those” weeks. It’s so frustrating. P.C. is moving in tomorrow and it hardly seems real, but that’s actually how these things go. You wait, and you wait, then it suddenly happens.
Its a good thing. Life can find its own natural rhythm now.
I also came up with a new train of thought. I’m sick of my kids fighting, sick of settling arguments, mending bruised egos. So, I’m just taking a hands off approach. I’m letting them settle their own arguments, however they do it. They need to learn to get along, I can’t force them to do it. If they want my two cents worth, they can ask for it, if not… oh well. If theirs anyone why has suggestions about this idea please let me know b/c I’m not sure if it’s a good idea or a bad one.
Anyways, I’ll do some thinking and maybe good writing soon.


Sometimes life feels more like an irritating rat race than a precious gift from God
Yet he calls on us to do his work time and time again
Promising rest
Yet rest never seems to come

Death’s a questionable option
A way out that leads to thee unknown
Take everything for granted,
Throw in the towel.

But we hold on
What is it?
What is in us that moves us?
What motivates us?

How would my life look
If I were greedy and stingy
Only working for the things that benefit me most.
Would I be rich and happy?
Or unfulfilled and lonely?

Either way, will it all be worth it in thee end?
Or will we all shed tears of pain
Ever so lonely
As our souls descend

Life update

I have to take P.C. back to the group home in about an hour. Hopefully this will be the last time. They’re thinking as long as he continues to do well, he will move in before Thanksgiving. (He would’ve been moved in a while back, but there have been some bumps in the road)

The kids have been sick this weekend. There must be a bug going around. Lil Fella, Lil Guy, and Adam have it. Me and P.C. must be immune to it already. I keep telling myself that my body is stronger than any virus that’s going around. I can fight off. I’m scared to think any other way about it.

Tomorrow I think I’m going to venture over to my old house to get some work done there, and I’m taking my lap top to get some writing done on my story. I need to focus on something out of the ordinary, and the bank account need that house to be rented out, or sold, either one. (although I hate to see it go)

We looked at an ok house with a perfect country setting the other day. I’d love it there, I can tell, but who knows what will happen. In the mean time, this rental house has felt nice.

Well, I’d better get off here.



I went to Dayton last night. A couple I’m friends with invited me to go see a band, my birthday and my friends are close together, so it was like out birthday celebrations.

I never go out to bars. This was one of those rare times I did, but it wasn’t anyplace nasty or crazy. It actually made me feel like I should be drinking something fancy like a martini, but I don’t know how to order drinks, and I usually don’t care for them anyways. I don’t mind drinking beer b/c it’s simple I guess, you can order any kind, and they’re all pretty much just beer. Nothin’ to special in my opinion.

(I actually like to imagine I’m someplace back in time, like an old pub in Ireland, or a castle in Germany when I have a beer.)

Anyways, even though most people think Dayton is a dangerous place, I feel comfortable there. The streets aren’t normally to busy, only around bus stops, but those people never bother me.


This was inside, sorry the picture is so blurry. It was a three man blues band. They were pretty good.

We talked about all kinds of stuff, I caught them up on my kids, they told me how they were considering having a baby, but they’re nervous about being parents. And there are health concerns. It’s one of those “now or never” moments for them. They’d like a boy.

I think they’d be fine, but it is scary to think about the first time. After a year or so, it settles in, and the thought of more kids isn’t nearly as scary, at least that’s how it was for me.

I think if we get a baby, I’d prefer a girl, we could be done. I think four would be enough. We’d at least be done for a long while lol. But if a baby doesn’t come along, I think we’re done for a while anyways. At least until these boys all start to get used to each other.

They left a little earlier than I did. It’d been so long since I just went somewhere by myself that I just wanted to sit there and take it all in. I watched and listened. I would’ve made a trip to the bar after they left, but I just didn’t feel comfortable with the bartender. She was about 70 I’d say, and she looked very angry.

I considered walking around the block, just to take in the city. There is something very freeing about walking around the city at night for me. Most people would be scared, but to me, it’s relaxing. I get that feeling that I’m a tiny speck and a huge universe. Like I’m part of something bigger, some small part of something big.

Rambling thoughts, and crazy talk

Sometimes I want to write, but my mind’s all over the place. I can’t choose a topic, they seem so important. I have so much to say that I get lost in my own words. I think about how the whole world has comedown with ADHD, and I wonder if this is how they feel all the time. (Is it happening to me to?)

My horoscope said today would be a good time to get creative, and think about colors. Well, I’m a couple days ahead of my horoscope because I’ve been painting an old desk for three days now, and I’d really enjoy just staying at home to work on it.

Right now I’m at the salon. I always feel useless here, so I remind myself that this is being productive too, I’m earning money that will pay the bills, and help take care of the family. I feel like me and the salon are growing old together; one day no ones going to remember either of us. I’m turning 31 in a couple of days.

Evil Plots- somebody out there is trying to take over, theres always somebody. Democrats, Republicans, Reptilians, Isis, China, The Illuminati? It could be anyone. Maybe time travelers are coming and going, trying to change the course of history.

They aren’t teaching my kids cursive in school, or civics, they wont know anything about the Constitution, The Bill of Rights, The Declaration of Independence. They wont know how the governments works. They wont know their own rights.

Well, not my kids, because I am teaching them at home too. They will be able to read the Bill of Rights that hangs above their bookshelf because I teach them cursive, and teach them to never let someone take these rights away- from anyone.

If the world goes to hell, we’re going to live underground. Anne Franks biggest mistake was going up into that attic. She should’ve went down below, but how could she have known that? She was just a teenager. If a bomb is dropped you are more likely to survive in the basement. Basements can be cold, but you wont freeze, and you can walk without worrying about people hearing your footsteps.

A school pic, and a half complete project… enjoy

I thought I stop buy and show you guys how big my Lil Fella is getting, it’s crazy!
lil fell school pic

I thought it was crazy how much older he looks. Still my cute Lil Fella by all means of course. He’s 11 years old, in fifth grade. I think of myself at that age, I was living up near Chicago. I had a very rough transition with that move, and refused to go to school, so I was homeschooled. One thing I did love about the little bit of school I did attend there is, it wasn’t a “good” school. Their were a lot of Spanish speaking Mexican kids. They even had their own class with a teacher who could speak Spanish and English. The older ones always had on baggy clothes, this was before that was really a thing, and crazy haircuts with very unnatural hair colors. I thought they looked cool. (Probably the hairdresser in me)

Anyways, looking back, it seems funny that I was so enamored by these people. My parents would’ve been horrified. I used to drink the Mexican pop they sold up there all the time, because I wanted to imagine I was somewhat like them.

Compare Lil Fella to this older pic I have of him…

lil fella

This was when he was only seven years old. He was so tiny and frail back then.

And, just for the heck of it, here is a bandana quilt I’ve been working on.


I’ve only spent about an hour on it. Crazy, I never imagined I’d make a quilt, but it has been fun. Just something for the kids to enjoy.

Well, I’d better hop off of here. I have about 347,924,884 other things to do.