One night I watched a video about the Aghori of India.

Their apperence makes me so very sick to my stomach, but there is another side to them.

There are Aghori who take showers in clean water, and use soap and shampoo. Who eat normal food off of clean dishes, and dress in clean clothes and not animal skins.

They educate kids no matter what caste they come from, and they teach humanity to everyone, not only by example, but by focus and will power also.

They beleive the human body cannot be polluted by physical things. The only pollution it may suffer will always be spiritual.

They beleive that God is always willing to communicate with us all, and take care of us all, and that we are all very much equal.

No one is above or below us, we are the same amount of person and God. Nothing can defile us, no matter where we live, what we touch, what we eat, we’re all still equal parts man and God.

And I tend to agree. Society may cast us into one role, but that is only acting.

The real person behind that character that keeps being extracted is most likely the most honest, down to earth, spiritual being that we can imagine, and that the person we should be getting to know with in each other.  Not the fake person that the higher ruling powers demand of us.

Throw all that stuff away now and let’s just be ourselves.



Different lives

In India their exist a caste system, I prefer to think of it as a ‘class system’ because that is basically what it is.

It’s hard to believe such a thing exist, but it does. The lowest caste are called Dalits- or the untouchables.

The name really explains it all. Personally I hate this and would never stand for it.

Then, outside of their caste system, their exist a group called the Aghori.

They follow the teachings of Shiva.

They might be only slightly worse than the untouchables. But- as weird and morbid, (and downright grosse) as the Aghori might be- they are the best hope for destroying the caste system in India.

Ironically, as I take a close and personal look at the Aghori I only see myself.

Their traditions repulse me, but I get why they are so over the top, because the people they are trying so hard to get through to are also so over the top.

The Aghori show a sacred part within us all, and that part of us can never be lost, it can never be polluted by touch or sin. It can never be defiled or named unclean.

They purposely live a life that’s considered unclean just to prove their point.

(Don’t get me wrong, some of them are extreamist that will make you vomit.)

But they have opened up schools, homes, orphanages, all free of the caste system. They are breaking down those walls.

All of the classes are subscribing to these things, slowly of corse, but it shows hope.

I pray that they all find the good in their caste, and their beleif system. But I also pray that they come together, and see each other as people.

I really think the time will come for India, I’m shocked it hasn’t already.

Please take care Dalits, and keep on the good work Aghori.

Yours Truely



Music and stuff

So, I caved in and went to the doctor for whatever this virus is. Lil Fella went too. I feel like it’s almost a mental thing, because I felt better just leaving the doctors office, and I know they’re not doing anything that amazing.

Lindsay Stirling- the violent player I’ve been loving that I wanted to share.

The album has two records in it. My personal favorite song is called “we are giants”

I’m not ¬†judgmental about these things at all- the total opposite really.

i accept every type of real relationship with no judgement if I think it’s real.

but I’m honest disturbed by casual meaningless sex, and the way it’s promoted. I think it hurts people. I can’t stand to even watch tv lately.


thats all

just stuff

Day two of feeling sick, but I think maybe by tomorrow I’ll be better. I hope, I really need something to look forward too.

I feel like I want to do something, even just make a bed on the floor and nap with my animals. Or find some way of tricking my kids into going to bed peacefully- those things would feel nice even while my body doesn’t.

I want to share a new record I bought a while back, a violinist named linday sunder maybe? I’ll have to double check, she good, really good. And multitalented if you ask me, like a musician ballerina actress.

Well I’ll be back I hope

Bridges and gaps

I found myself in a depressed and slightly confused state yesterday, but I’m learning to deal with that better.

First of all, it doesn’t build up and get stronger with time anymore. I view it as a necessary gap. Like a new idea or desire has opened up, and I’ve fallen behind just a little because it happened so fast.

But it’s not going any farther, it’s just waiting on me to catch up, so there’s nothing to worry about.

I also try to find two, maybe three things to be hopeful about. That kind of gets the good feelings caught back up, so I’m at least closing that gap.

I had to start one hopeful thing to focus on, I did this a while back, I got a gym membership.

I like to feel my body getting stronger and healthier. I like the achievement when I can increase the resistance on the elliptical, or lift a higher weight on a machine.

There’s a machine that works the lower abs, I did 3 reps of 10, it was set on 110lbs. and I was surprised that I could do that since the huge guy before me had it set on 70lbs.

I’m going about my day feeling better, and if another gap opens up, I’ll just have to close that one too, no biggie. It’s just like crossing bridges.


I’ve reached a few conclusions about lil guys homeschooling.

1. I finally understand teachers and why they are all grumpy about the education system. It’s designed very impersonal. They don’t allow room to adjust at all.

Say it takes your kid 45 min. To do an assignment, but it only counts as 15 min. Towards his school day, yet he has to get through all the assignments.

Our science each day is literally 4-5 hours worth of work, we do not complete it. Physics- in second grade. Why?

2. I absolutly love the materials they sent us to use, a few things are missing, and at times the books don’t line up with the website, but otherwise it’s really nice just to have the stuff to use.

3. And finally… I’m done. I’m done with it all. When I settle on a decision like this I can’t recall ever changing my mind. I wish I had someone here to talk to about it- there’s no one here, so I’ve began packing it all up to send back.

Im pretty sure I’ll finish homeschooling the year out on my own. We covered more work, didn’t waist a single moment, and he was actually learning. I was happier before starting K-12.

Maybe he’ll homeschool next year, maybe not, we’ll figure that out later, I just know I’m not all about using a homeschool program, and I almost knew that right before he was signed up.